Masters Milking Maidens in Our Braineries

Comment doit-on commencer? Sex for grades? A ‘lil’ squeeze for a favour (like punishment passed over)? It’s wickedly wanton and widespread in our higher-learning braineries. The odd weasel wriggles out of the high-school box. But when the headmistress of Aburi Girls lays open to the media that some of her male mentors roll out the red carpet for the mademoiselles they’re meant to teach, in their rooms, then we have a pickle, no, a botheration! Besides, the crick is cranked up considerably, when the Principal admits that she once shielded the predators.

Bigger is Better in the City of Accra

Women and men, pumps for your boobs or burritos are on sale in the City of Accra. The wonder is they took so long to come! The no-wonder is they surfaced from China! Fix a different-size cup, and between squeeze and pleasure, boom, you are bigger there! But the FDB says no! Why am I positive the FDB will lose? Ghana is already bingeing on‘Beelzebub’ bitters, brewed for size, stamina and spice.

Food Riots Everywhere

(Picture credit - thesunblog.com/gourmetgal)

The Helium Effect. Crude-oil hikes hoist up essential-foods rates. They’re scuffling with cudgels and pebbles and Molotovs in Tunis and Algiers. In other metropoles too. Fathom my flaming fear when food prices leapt up in Accra. But Accraians won’t flock to the streets – they whisper but don’t raise their fists over the bread-and-sugar spend.

Priests and Pastors in the City of Accra

So many clergymen are facing criminal charges these days. That is an incorrect comment. So many priests are attracting bad media. That is unfair too.

But...

Too many pastors are allegedly committing fraud and other crimes. That is spot on. People always said there was a difference between a priest and a pastor. I think I know now.

But...

It is easier to be a pastor than a priest (education, hierarchy, strict liturgy and all). So, maybe, more pretenders end up as pastors.

(Picture 1 credit - religion.phllipmartin.info)

(Picture 2 credit - news.onlinenigeria.com)

Rogue Doctors in the City of Accra?

A doctor is a lapdog-yessir-how-high-should-I-jump slave. Their patients rule them, dominate, oppress and sometimes make them lose their jobs. You may have murdered their mother – they cannot turn their back on you! So if the nurses rap on the surgery door, and the doctor declines to exit, is he always unjustified? Just asking...

(Picture credit - clarkcapitalfinance.com)

The Love Race in the City of Acccra

 I just saw a man from a shack on a moped win a girl over a man from a chateau and on luxury four-wheels, although her father was an arse. All in a Ghanaian movie. I totally took notice!

(Picture credit - current.com)

Street Fighting in the City of Accra

Me in a street fight. Well, not quite. The urchin did not put up a fight. He swung out his hand and broke my side mirror and indicator light. I had seen him from far. I had even swerved to the middle of the street. It’s a new trick in Accra. New for the past five years or so. Desperados take this risk. Then, then they ask for 50 Ghana Cedis to go to the ‘hospital’. It’s happened to me twice already. Not a third time. I came out of the car and grabbed him. I did not let go until I got help. It was in a gentle neighbourhood – Ridge – so I did not risk a stabbing. At least I hope so. He’s now behind bars. He’s headed for court. 

Resolutions = Rubbish

You don’t know when a discriminating asteroid would wipe out most of the opposite sex, compelling you to a need for prostitutes/gigolos. And so life goes. It is fluid – we don’t know what’s around the corner. It makes little sense – to me – to make New Year Resolutions. They only mark your own  ill-discipline. You can make resolutions as and when you need them. A toilet-moment resolution. A post-orgasm resolution. A born-again resolution. A birthday resolution. A Chelsea-slump resolution. An Obama-inspired resolution. When resolutions are made for particular moments, don’t they stand a better chance of success? Now I must go do a no-more-late-bath resolution.

Family Reunion

Family reunions go so wonderfully well if the old people gather away and leave the now-timers at another place. And the fufu, jollof and the cake-and-ice-cream-with-brandy are evenly lavished in both places. I will remember that when I grow old.


(Picture credit - dailymoaner.com)

Highlife Music – The Rebirth of the Slick

November ’09. Night with the Stars – Joy FM’s glossy Hiplife parade. There are scores of Hiplife super stars. The chary organisers have sprinkled only one ‘rock’ Gospel star and one jaded Highlife star on the bill.

It began bubbling with a bevy of two buxom ladies bopping on their feet; then four; then eight. Soon, the whole hall was animated, sweetly seduced by Abrantie Amakye Dede and his moulding olden, golden Highlife.

Later events were quick to establish Abrantie on the bill. Now he’s popular enough – again – to own his own glittering gala and wear scarlet-red suits. In little over a year, Highlife music is suddenly slick again.

(Picture credit - musicwithease.com)

This is My Taste

Naughty girls! I always gathered that the attractive assistants at the local convenience shop play girl-games with the men who stride in. Last night, I picked up a whisper: “As for this one, he is my taste.” I was “that one” because I had just walked in. Beyond my dislike of the use of "taste" – instead of “preference” – for the other four senses, I was slightly tickled with their fickle, flirty, flighty fancy.

(Picture credit - eccobistro.com)

The Harm of Formal Education

Let’s admit it – formal education in Ghana and much of Africa is structured to teach young people to read and write, no more.

Fact no. 2 – mass formal education all over the world – whether intentionally or not – kills natural thinking ability and creativity, and teaches humanity to think in a box and stifles their intelligence.

Third, if formal education is not advancing Africa, what shall we do? Perhaps, groups of individuals should come together to think up ways of educating their own children in their own way. They cannot be any worse than the formal system.

The Presents You Didn’t Buy at Christmas

You didn’t buy enough presents this Christmas. The shop shelves are still stacked high. The Commercial Devils will devise methods to clear – yes, that’s the word they use, as if it’s rubbish – the excess through Reduction Sales. Mind you, they are capitalists. They wouldn’t let prices plummet below the profit line. Post-reduction profit suggests they were twice ripping you off raw at Christmastime. What the Sales fail to clear would be rebranded – chocolate, flowers, wine, some soft toys, fragrances – and merchandized to you with guile on Valentine’s Day. The media will be guilty by association – their loot from the heist is advertising money. Discover the pattern for yourself. December to February is just one colossal commercial con! 

Christmas for Africans

It amazes me endlessly how an arbitrarily selected date in history has become a principal religious festival – breaking through (and crushing) cultures North and South, East and West. Nobody knows when Jesus was born – do you? He did not ask the early Christians to do anything to mark the moment of his birth. It is not necessarily wrong – or right – to toast the season. It is just curious. 

The date was hand-picked for reasons of war and peace, empire and power, the State and the Church – no more. And, in Africa, we have seized Christmas as our own, and get more drunk on it than the greedy explorers who exported it here.

(Pic 1 borrowed from - christmaswishes.org.uk)

(Pic 2 borrowed from - iamthewitness.com)

The Real Ali Baba – the Corporate Thief

Double-dealing multinational corporations have always hidden their sordid affair of trying out their bribe-bringing, contract-thieving, energy-greedy, raping-and-ripping off-the-poor practices inside presidential palaces of African countries. Now, Little Big Eye – Wikileaks – has seen you.

(Picture credit - linked2leadership.com)

When Ghosts Come Shopping in the City of Accra

When Christmas comes to town each year, it checks in with chariot-loads of gate-crushing ghosts who swirl and meddle about the business of the living. They tip the natural balance between the dead and un-dead and stanch the tick of the cosmic clock. 

This triples the headcount in the city centre, and causes the viscous traffic and the sweltering heat. This is the explanation of some people on the streets of Makola Market - the ghosts come shopping!

A friend’s mother accepts the phantom theory only in half. She swears that the hellish heat steams out of "the anus of a witch".

Ha ha ha. Merry Christmas.

(Picture credit - clevescene.com)

Ghana’s Crude Oil & the Dutch Disease

Hmm, the World Bank – not quite the world’s bank – is saying it believes Ghana’s mining and cocoa industries are so well-managed and well-established that they will not be hurt by the emergence of - and focus on - crude oil.

After all these years, the World Bank – not quite the world’s bank – does not understand the Ghanaian culture where novelty gets all the time, attention and money, while old glamour loses all its gloss. Oil & Gas is already the only leading buzz-phrase in Ghana, no?

Shall we count how many times the World Bank – not quite the world’s bank – has been hopelessly wrong in its reading of the economy, culture, pulse and climate of an emerging economy? Dig in, then, for we’ll be here till Christmas in 2011.

(Picture Credit - Tehrantimes.com)

The Rape of the Snob

So I was ‘radaring’ for ‘bloggable’ material last night when a Ghanaian movie ‘brought itself’. It was raw, reeking rubbish. A village snob of a woman was taught a lesson by a young lecherous lout through the imperious instrument of rape.


He went unpunished and was even glorified by the girls, while she suffered a drop in social slot. What warped wanton wicked moral was that? Must she be shamed that way because she's a snob? 
Rubbish rubbish movie.

(Picture credit - sexandlasgidi.com)

Diplomatic Passports

What kind of passport is diplomatic? It is issued by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to diplomats, high-ranking officials, members of the parliament and persons travelling on official state business.

Therefore, I was shocked out of my little body to discover that governments had – over the years – issued diplomatic passports to religious leaders.



As far as I am concerned – somebody please educate me if I’m wrong – there are hardly any clergymen continuously involved in central government business to warrant a diplomatic passport for them.

What, are they going to see the pope, some archbishop or patriarch to help solve Ghana’s economic problems?

Now the diplomatic passports are going to be withdrawn from 375 government ‘dysfunctionaries’. Ghana – non-diplomats travelling with diplomatic passports. Wasting money. I pay my taxes – do you hear me – I pay my taxes. So y’all don’t go acting like big men travelling on undeserved perks on my taxes and those of others!

(Picture credit - cafepress.co.uk)

Staircase Busy

These people never learn.
After the Elevator fiasco
(see post below)
they put this sign, today,
right in front of the same elevator.


Plus, I really wonder what kind of meeting
the staircase was having? 
Or was it watching tv?


(I swear I did not stage this).