Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Sex Tapes on Social Media

Young, impetuous idiots. Why tape the transgression? Can't you just find forbidden fruit anytime? What am I saying? Shouldn't you be seducing your syllabi senseless?

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Soldiers Against Black Magic

A security chief of a company was being replaced. He’d been caught sozzled on the job. The next Monday morning, he was introduced to his replacement. The CEO asked the two to work together for one week. A transition. They were both ex soldiers. Fit. Strong. In good health. Apparently. They started on a tour of the grounds. Two minutes into the tour, the new security capo collapsed. He was whisked to the hospital, where he came to. His vital signs read healthy. He zoomed back to normal in minutes. The next day, he emailed the CEO to say he’d not be taking the job. His reason – he didn’t want to expire by black magic.


What about you? Do you know of any similarly weird stories? Do you believe that black magic works at all. And in this way?

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

In Jest of MUSIGA

Just one pageant probably plays per night – pick whenever – in the city of Accra. Performers pitch bruising background battles to snatch a slot in the spectacle. Fiercer flashpoints erupt everywhere when fatuous awards are arriving. Every flippant, flippety-flop figures that ‘four or five figurines will be fine for me.’ Why, then, do performers pretend to pool together with one positive purpose?

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Black Woman with Natural Hair

She explodes through the pixilated party-crowd with effervescing energy in her honeycomb. Kinky, coily, fluffy, black stuff, sparkling and fizzing towards the bar...where I stand. In her milky white dress, she radiates her foamy halo in my face. The hair whispers to me, and takes me. The cameo’s over, the music floods back. She glides away with me.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Old Warriors and Pretty Young Wives – Pt 5 (The End)

He shadowed her around the house
Suspicious if she fed a mouse
She'd stopped him from keeping his spear
Not at home or anywhere near

She stayed young, he grew older
And the gap between them bolder
And she started to miss her husband
The one that they had cruelly canned

As she cooked he’d sit behind her
While she fanned the fire in a blur
His memories would come a-floodin’
And he’d sing his fears a-sudden

Adwoa, I’m frightened by your fanning
Eno Adwoa, what are you planning?
Is there a spear out there tonight?
Eno, will I live to see the light?

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Old Warriors and Pretty Young Wives - Pt 4

Déjà Vu

An old warrior lost his life
And his killer found a wife
Their little secret - it was kept
Though out the baby crept

The years flashed by rapidly
The warrior aged inevitably
But Adwoa, the warriors' woman
Her genes stayed young - unkind omen

First went her pleasant responses
Then came her repeat absences
He blamed it on that the child died
Other reasons, he feared, denied

He'd won a thousand battles
Acquired great wealth and chattels
But his power was on the wane
And the blood cooled in his vein


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Friday, March 21, 2014

Old Warriors and Pretty Young Wives - Pt 2

The Plot

She’d go to her old man at night
But he’d lost his warrior’s might
And would he take the father’s blame
When he could not light a flame?

The time, it was a-going
Her bump, it was a-showing
Women whispered under the trees
As she passed, through cough and sneeze

Oh, her name was Adwoa
Her old man called her Eno
But her response became sour
As he aged into a minnow

The young lovers turned to fear
Shame and execution nestled near
They had now to run away
Or the old cuckold to slay

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Old Warriors and Pretty Young Wives - Pt 1

Just A Little Bit of Fun

An old warrior and his pretty young wife
Lived a quiet and peaceful life
With the spoils of war, and not a care
But a fire was raging in her

A great conqueror he'd once been
But his spirit was no longer keen
And her blood was hot and boiling
And her old man just a-toiling

So she made friends with a young man
A fierce warrior from a nearby clan
And they’d sneak away many nights
While the vet dreamt of his ancient fights

In no time, she had a fever
Her young champ had loved with fervour
And the oldie would soon come round
To her little growing mound

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Can We Ever Like Our Cops?

Tell me - is there anything rarer in this land than a courteous traffic cop? (Not counting dollar transactions or the frequency of my blog posts). Recently, a cop 'arrested' my sister for jumping the "amber lights" at 10 pm. After apologies and a promise to be of good behaviour only made him angry, she resigned to going to the police station with him. Don't you think that should have pleased him? Well it didn't.

One hour later, he had failed to bully her to offer him a bribe of 400 Cedis. And he could no longer take her to the station because he couldn't explain why a 5-minute drive had taken an hour at traffic-less 10 pm. When passersby inched closer to smell what he was cooking up at the roadside at that time, he quickly crawled into a getaway hole.

The men in black
Are difficult to back.


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Friday, March 7, 2014

The Twelve Deaths of Chivalry

The door flies agape, and the boor slimes in. He flings it the other way, and nearly plasters the face of the woman in his wake. He plods to the queue, and snakes along to the head where a little kid stands. On the next turn, he swats the infant aside with his left hand. While making his order, his ‘megaphone’ bangs out of his pocket. In three minutes, he broadcasts his side affair to the whole world. Then, he makes his order. He foot-sweeps the tiles on his way out. He flops into the car before he remembers the woman he came with. She’s barely sat down, when he shoots the car forward, cutting across a moving car beside him. His music blares out in doltish decibels. His smirk shows he’s proved how important he is.