Friday, April 10, 2009
Random Questions
Is our president afraid of the ex ex?
How often does police surveillance go wrong?
Will Liverpool and Bayern now switch to cricket?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Sex, Size and Payment in the City of Accra
Time: 11 pm.
Day: Any day.
Man Pervert (MP): How much?
Underage Girl (UG): You have to drop your pants first.
MP: Why would I want to do that?
UG: I need to see whatchu got. Price is per hour, according to size!
HMMM!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
M. K. Ghandi is someone I admire
M. K. Ghandi
Because he was the most human of us all
Steve Biko
Because he would have been the legitimate forerunner of the anti-apartheid movement
Yitzhak Rabin
Because he would have managed to bring peace to the Middle East
Barack Obama
Because you just came back from sequestration on Mars if you do not know why
Kaka
Because he combines supreme talent with the fear of God and modesty - a rare thing in the 2000s
Corazon Aquino
For such grace, dignity and bravery
Aung San Suu Kyi
Because she has more balls than the military in Burma
Tony Blair
Because he has the gift of gab
William Jefferson Clinton
One politician I could trust that he really believed in what he was saying (bar Lewinsky), plus he has no prejudice or bigotry in him
Nelson Mandela
For how he kept a volatile country together in the 90s
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Living in the Osu Cemetery
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Ocean
There are not many things
Before the timeless ocean
The blueness of intensity
The green eyes of jealousy
The white surf of purity
Rolling waves and lolling lave
Salty taste and lulling hum
Grades of sand as true as gold
The intimate bathe in tenderness
The gulls, the weeds, the sun and the shells
All seen and loved by generations gone
And it’s bigger that everything else
It owns the shoreline
And the sky
And the topsy-turvy brine
Even the far-off horizon line
The power to give unending pleasure
Choose the size of shore next year
Now pent-up rage bursts out at the moon
Holds the world in a low vile growl
And plays mirages of spirit lights
A slow recline in the afterglow
The ocean sleeps in silent sate.
Silence
In the drone of the balmy breeze
It is the stretching of the hills
And the tears the sky sadly spills
Thunderclap in breaking hearts
The unseen tail of poison darts
It is the picture of the sea
The still before the storm we see
It is the depth of the deep black hole
The massive ice caps in each Pole
It is the cosmic dance of stars
And the sounds of life on Mars
The great allure of muted minds
The need to see behind the blinds
The presence of stark loneliness
The blank before each ‘I confess’.
Poetry Ends It All
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Playgirl Pedicurist
Monday, March 30, 2009
Fairy Tales
I'm thinking of the amazing Hans Christian Andersen and
the old wonderful feeling that everything was possible in life, and that good magic happened one moment in time, and we all lived happily ever after.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
...And That's Good Advice!
Champi Dog Veterinarian Advice by Champi NL
Never take advice from a person who's never worn your glasses (i.e. been in your situation.)
I Demand ...
Punctuality
So that barbers, tailors, mechanics and clerks would arrive at the agreed time and do some darn work!
Openness
So my partner cannot cheat on me simply because they can.
36 hours a day
So that I can spend the extra 8 sleeping (it's the only sleep I will get).
Creativity Opportunities
So that I can finally live the life I want, doing what really makes me happy!
Clear Signs
So that I know you put me above the competition, and do not offer the competition what you offer me.
An Extra Day
So that we can have a 3-day weekend.
A Pay Rise
So that I can justify waking up from bed, to myself!
No-Dogs-Allowed Signs Everywhere
In all the places I go. I just thought you should all know that I loathe canines.
Clearer (not necessarily stricter) Immigration Rules
So that we know who's legally here!
Flexitime
How is a person supposed to live on only one job in Ghana?
Many More Things Than I have Stated Here
Because we should never stop at trying to get better!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
If I Could Tame a Wild Animal
It would have to be my uncivilised hair. Too many girls have asked me why my hair is not "Dada B" (= soft and beautiful). These days, it's easy for me to tell them that my unsightly grown hair is caused by a life so far of bad food. The wild animal I'd like to tame is my hair.
But, then again, a panther is not unthinkable too!
Ponko Huri Ta in the City of Accra
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Finagling Grandpa
Boom-goes-the-dynamite by Aaron & Alli
As an insensitive pre-teen brat, I concealed my Casio digital watch under my grandpa's bed, and set the alarm to go off in ten minutes. I knew he would go up for his afternoon sleep in five minutes. As he lay down, I "chanced" into his room, and narrated to him in calm undertones about how we'd learned about explosive chemicals in Chemistry class that day. Then, I let it slip, by accident, that we - the boys - had gone ahead to devise crude time bombs. Then, in passing, I mentioned that I'd stowed my bomb away under his bed for safekeeping. Eighty-three years of human experience doubted me until I started flying from the room three seconds before the alarm went off. Bless his soul, (and may he continue to rest in heavenly peace) my grandpa shot past me, and bounded down the stairs! It was the quickest I ever saw him move! He was not angry or anything at all. He called me naughty, and patted me on the back. Gee, I loved that prank!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Obama, Geithner & Other Random Questions
Remove the Death Penalty and let them pay a fee?
Will America leave Obama & Geithner alone?
Why punish one who's confessed on their own?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Give Gladly or Give Not
About five years ago, a female colleague and I suffered a serious bout of a "gift" early in the morning from a very stingy client. We'd disliked him for a long time for the way he strutted about like he lived in a house of gold, although his hands would never slip into his pockets, wallet or slide across a cheque. He plunked it down on my colleague's table - she calls herself TBMN (The Beautiful Miss Nortey). So I asked from across the room, "What is it, then?" The penny-pinching client did not know what his gift was. :-) I took another look at it, and decided it was a cheap, glass paper weight cut like a pyramid, which the cat had dragged in from a one-dollar shop. Between saying our 'thanks' and stifling our smirks, he skirted the open door, and scooted out of the office.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
When I realized I was a Grown-Up, Or Have I?
Friday, March 20, 2009
I Can't Believe My Aunt Did That!
It was way past bedtime. I was only 6 or 7, and quite precocious too. I was talking to my mother and aunt (my mother's friend really). My mother got up to take the tea cups(they'd been having a cuppa) to the kitchen, and my aunt farted so loudly. My mother turned and blamed me. The corner of my aunt's mouth twitched, but she pretended not to know what was going on. I haven't forgiven her at all!
A handkerchief travels with me
A handkerchief
Because Africa's hot, silly!
A wallet
Because I couldn't put my money in my handkerchief.
My ATM card
Would you rather I kept it in the bank vault?
My favourite pub's "Loyal Member" Card
Oh, so you don't like drinks at half price?