When a strange, unintelligible language comes out of my mouth in a donkey voice.
Because I'm thinking so much about what to do or say that my brain is not connected to my speech!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Signs of Love
Saturday, February 13, 2010
On Special Occasions, I Wear ...
I'd like to boast that there's some priceless, once-in-a-year article of clothing or accessory I keep for special occasions only. But I have no lucky drawers or boxers or swinging chain, other bling or earring. So, I'm staid in that area, unless you count fragrances. Who do you wear on special occasions?
Friday, February 12, 2010
5 High-School Valentine Tales
Kwame
Each year had its “Moneybags” – the most extravagant present-giver. Kwame had saved for long – he wanted the title so badly. At 4 a.m., he sent 10 junior boys to her dormitory, with a ton of goodies. At 7 a.m., she sent 10 junior girls to return the unopened presents at the DINING HALL!
Maame
All the girls waited to open their presents together. Maame’s cake box was the biggest, brightest and heaviest by far. She waited till she was the centre of attention, and then she began the slow, teasing unwrapping. It was a cake all right, but it was a gari cake, with red close-up toothpaste for icing! Sucker!
* Gari = Roasted manioc granules
Nana, Patrick, Kwasi & 50 Others
Sometimes, you just didn't have the money to compete, but couldn't get her to understand. So, 1 week before the Day, you kicked up a baseless fight, and broke up. No need for presents. You waited for 5 days, and went back to you were sorry.
Linda, Ama, Melissa & 200 Others
When a self-respecting girl looked into the Valentine crystal ball, a week before the Day, and found herself “gnashing” (i.e. attracting no male attention) she would suddenly jelly-and-jam up to a nice guy or 2 in hopes of rapid, romantic reciprocity!
Tricia, Akua & Nana Akosua & 50 Other Desperados
When the writing was on the wall that all the last-minute sucking up would attract no attention, the smartest girls sneaked into town, bought impressive presents, wrapped them up the way only a girl could, and couriered it right back to themselves in a boy’s name! Wow!
Each year had its “Moneybags” – the most extravagant present-giver. Kwame had saved for long – he wanted the title so badly. At 4 a.m., he sent 10 junior boys to her dormitory, with a ton of goodies. At 7 a.m., she sent 10 junior girls to return the unopened presents at the DINING HALL!
Maame
All the girls waited to open their presents together. Maame’s cake box was the biggest, brightest and heaviest by far. She waited till she was the centre of attention, and then she began the slow, teasing unwrapping. It was a cake all right, but it was a gari cake, with red close-up toothpaste for icing! Sucker!
* Gari = Roasted manioc granules
Nana, Patrick, Kwasi & 50 Others
Sometimes, you just didn't have the money to compete, but couldn't get her to understand. So, 1 week before the Day, you kicked up a baseless fight, and broke up. No need for presents. You waited for 5 days, and went back to you were sorry.
Linda, Ama, Melissa & 200 Others
When a self-respecting girl looked into the Valentine crystal ball, a week before the Day, and found herself “gnashing” (i.e. attracting no male attention) she would suddenly jelly-and-jam up to a nice guy or 2 in hopes of rapid, romantic reciprocity!
Tricia, Akua & Nana Akosua & 50 Other Desperados
When the writing was on the wall that all the last-minute sucking up would attract no attention, the smartest girls sneaked into town, bought impressive presents, wrapped them up the way only a girl could, and couriered it right back to themselves in a boy’s name! Wow!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Poetry: 24-Hour News
3 news items, over the past day, keep coming back to me.
*Students of Archbishop Porter Girls School in Takoradi, Ghana, got severe food poisoning after eating school food last night. It appears to be an offence to eat alternative food to the bad school-issue.
100 girls went off to school
Eating, there, was a stiff rule
Like many a useless control tool
Now, the girls are oozing stool
*The president recently reshuffled his cabinet. All new ministers are vetted by Parliament. The expected fiery Q&A turned out to be quite a farce.
The Main Man got new ministers
The House promised vetting sinisters
But when appeared the Misses and Misters
Both sides oafed like brothers and sisters
*So, it is being officially acknowledged that government officials in Ghana have kind of always travelled with paid female companions. And the president referred to it as indiscretion?
So, officials go with Ghanaian Geisha girls
Paid for with the taxpayer’s pearls
While poverty and the national debt swirls
One more government is fluffing it in twirls
*Students of Archbishop Porter Girls School in Takoradi, Ghana, got severe food poisoning after eating school food last night. It appears to be an offence to eat alternative food to the bad school-issue.
100 girls went off to school
Eating, there, was a stiff rule
Like many a useless control tool
Now, the girls are oozing stool
*The president recently reshuffled his cabinet. All new ministers are vetted by Parliament. The expected fiery Q&A turned out to be quite a farce.
The Main Man got new ministers
The House promised vetting sinisters
But when appeared the Misses and Misters
Both sides oafed like brothers and sisters
*So, it is being officially acknowledged that government officials in Ghana have kind of always travelled with paid female companions. And the president referred to it as indiscretion?
So, officials go with Ghanaian Geisha girls
Paid for with the taxpayer’s pearls
While poverty and the national debt swirls
One more government is fluffing it in twirls
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Dominant Sense
Picture yourself all alone in a vacuum. What do you experience? Which of your senses strikes the sharpest? I isolate my fragrance and ‘mirage’ the walls closing in on me; my breathing breaks and pings like ice needles off imaginary walls. My most-alive sense is my sense of smell; then my sense of touch; then hearing. Back in the vacuum, what do you imagine you experience? What is your dominant sense?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
It Must Have Been Love
As a tailspin-teenager, I had a creative crush on a new “Lil Lovely” every month. It started with a hottie called Amanda. At the swimming pool, I was looking at her looking at me, but we could not talk to each other. Later, we faux-flirted through our friends, and my song for her was “It Must Have Been Love” by Swedish duo, Roxette.
Another Cinderella-crush was buxom, French-Ivorian beauty, Chantal, who was 4 years older (and 100 light years sexier) than me, and who lived in Cocody, Abidjan. My ballad for her was “Impossible Love” by UB40.
Another Cinderella-crush was buxom, French-Ivorian beauty, Chantal, who was 4 years older (and 100 light years sexier) than me, and who lived in Cocody, Abidjan. My ballad for her was “Impossible Love” by UB40.
Monday, February 8, 2010
3 More Historical Tales – Ga, Nzema, Dagomba
Nii Bonne III – the Ga Gandhi
January 1948. The Gold Coast is still a British Colony. In protest against racial discrimination, Nii Kwabena Bonne III organises a boycott of European goods. The boycotts spread across the nation. Riots follow. 1 month later, a deranged British policeman shoots three local WWII veterans, and kills them. European and Asian shops are looted. The rioters break into the central prison and release inmates (The Bastille, huh?) The “Big Six” nationalist leaders are imprisoned. In less than a decade, Ghana will emerge independent.
Anton Wilhelm Amo – 18th Centry Nzema Philosopher
Nzema land, the year 1707. A 4 year-old Nzema boy is shipped off to Amsterdam. Some accounts say he was a slave; others say he merely accompanied a missionary! Some say the Dutch wanted a native who could speak both “Native” and “Dutch” to facilitate trade. The boy is presented to a Dutch Duke who educates him. He masters English, French, Dutch, German, Latin and Greek. He obtains a degree by studying law, medicine, metaphysics, logic, physiology, history, astronomy...need I go on? He obtains a doctorate in philosophy and lectures at University of Halle. His “father”, the Duke, dies, and he is subjected to extreme racism. He is forced to go back to Africa – Ghana, where his Nzema father and sister (who he does not know) are still alive. Being “Dutch” he is prevented from “mixing” with the natives for fear that he may sow dissent. Therefore he is kept in a Dutch fort. He disappears from the eyes of history, and probably dies, aged 56, in 1759!
Tohadzie – the Red Hunter
A master of archery travels from Zamfara (present-day Northern Nigeria) to the Mali Empire. He settles in a small town which is dying from drought. Their only water source has been taken over by a wild beast. Tohadzie kills the beast and is a hero. He marries a Malian princess and they have a son, Kpogonumbo, who is the father of the great Dagomba people. Kpogonumbo grows up a great warrior, very much his father’s equal in exploits. He marries 2 women whose militant sons are always at war with one another. There is a migration from the initial family to Pusiga (present-day Upper East Ghana) and further downwards. More descendants break off to found the great kingdoms of Modern Dagbon, Mamprusi and Moshi.
January 1948. The Gold Coast is still a British Colony. In protest against racial discrimination, Nii Kwabena Bonne III organises a boycott of European goods. The boycotts spread across the nation. Riots follow. 1 month later, a deranged British policeman shoots three local WWII veterans, and kills them. European and Asian shops are looted. The rioters break into the central prison and release inmates (The Bastille, huh?) The “Big Six” nationalist leaders are imprisoned. In less than a decade, Ghana will emerge independent.
Anton Wilhelm Amo – 18th Centry Nzema Philosopher
Nzema land, the year 1707. A 4 year-old Nzema boy is shipped off to Amsterdam. Some accounts say he was a slave; others say he merely accompanied a missionary! Some say the Dutch wanted a native who could speak both “Native” and “Dutch” to facilitate trade. The boy is presented to a Dutch Duke who educates him. He masters English, French, Dutch, German, Latin and Greek. He obtains a degree by studying law, medicine, metaphysics, logic, physiology, history, astronomy...need I go on? He obtains a doctorate in philosophy and lectures at University of Halle. His “father”, the Duke, dies, and he is subjected to extreme racism. He is forced to go back to Africa – Ghana, where his Nzema father and sister (who he does not know) are still alive. Being “Dutch” he is prevented from “mixing” with the natives for fear that he may sow dissent. Therefore he is kept in a Dutch fort. He disappears from the eyes of history, and probably dies, aged 56, in 1759!
Tohadzie – the Red Hunter
A master of archery travels from Zamfara (present-day Northern Nigeria) to the Mali Empire. He settles in a small town which is dying from drought. Their only water source has been taken over by a wild beast. Tohadzie kills the beast and is a hero. He marries a Malian princess and they have a son, Kpogonumbo, who is the father of the great Dagomba people. Kpogonumbo grows up a great warrior, very much his father’s equal in exploits. He marries 2 women whose militant sons are always at war with one another. There is a migration from the initial family to Pusiga (present-day Upper East Ghana) and further downwards. More descendants break off to found the great kingdoms of Modern Dagbon, Mamprusi and Moshi.
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