Friday, February 12, 2010

5 High-School Valentine Tales

Kwame

Each year had its “Moneybags” – the most extravagant present-giver. Kwame had saved for long – he wanted the title so badly. At 4 a.m., he sent 10 junior boys to her dormitory, with a ton of goodies. At 7 a.m., she sent 10 junior girls to return the unopened presents at the DINING HALL!

Maame

All the girls waited to open their presents together. Maame’s cake box was the biggest, brightest and heaviest by far. She waited till she was the centre of attention, and then she began the slow, teasing unwrapping. It was a cake all right, but it was a gari cake, with red close-up toothpaste for icing! Sucker!

* Gari = Roasted manioc granules

Nana, Patrick, Kwasi & 50 Others

Sometimes, you just didn't have the money to compete, but couldn't get her to understand. So, 1 week before the Day, you kicked up a baseless fight, and broke up. No need for presents. You waited for 5 days, and went back to you were sorry.

Linda, Ama, Melissa & 200 Others

When a self-respecting girl looked into the Valentine crystal ball, a week before the Day, and found herself “gnashing” (i.e. attracting no male attention) she would suddenly jelly-and-jam up to a nice guy or 2 in hopes of rapid, romantic reciprocity!

Tricia, Akua & Nana Akosua & 50 Other Desperados

When the writing was on the wall that all the last-minute sucking up would attract no attention, the smartest girls sneaked into town, bought impressive presents, wrapped them up the way only a girl could, and couriered it right back to themselves in a boy’s name! Wow!

10 comments:

  1. As for the moneybags U could count me out, a few gals almost shanghaied me by fawning over me 3 days before Vals day. The break b4 Vals day hmm..never. Gals who sent gifts to themselves...yawa(A shame!).The gari cake too...Yawa. Why expect sthing when you haven't shown any love all year round. Nice write- as usual.

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  2. Ha ha ha ha ha. I don't know why people get so CRAZY during valentine's day.

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  3. lol. This is hilarious. Can't tell which one's a winner; the return or the gari-cake.

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  4. if my bf is broke and unable to buy me a gift, he should try to explain to me.
    if he breaks up w/me cos of Val's day, he should better not come back unless he's coming with the/a gift. girls are not stupid.

    for the girls who 'val' themselves. wow. i never even expected that lol.

    Nice write-up

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  5. Lmao, crazy things happen in high school during vals. I heard a girl recieved a barbecued more like roasted head of a goat. Nicely packaged. Maame is not alone lol

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  6. Don't the girls give the guys anything?? Guys need love too...

    A puzzled feminist

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  7. @ Anon #1: Thank you, and, yes, it does feel like being shanghaied.

    @ Raine: They actually go crazy before and during. Sometimes, after.

    @ Ananse Web: For funny, I think it is the ignoble return!

    @ CerebrallyBusy: You speak now with the maturity of a big girl. Trust me, it would have been different when you 15 or 16!

    @ lucci: Yeah, there were unfortunate events like that, some scatological.

    @ Anon #2: Dear puzzled feminist, only a recognised GF ever gave their BF anything.

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  8. Are we talking valentine's day or OUT RIGHT WAR?

    Interesting and funny stuff. Reminds me of meeting a lady who did research about Ghanaian valentine's day celebration. Ill email you her paper if I still have it.

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  9. @ Kajsa: Thank you!! Stillw aiting for the research paper!

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  10. I have been visiting various blogs for my Term Papers research. I have found your blog to be quite useful. Keep updating your blog with valuable information... Regards

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