The Marriage Feast

The day before, the bride’s family women perch in a circle of wooden stools in the clearing between the huddling houses. They’re cooking Banku and Okra soup, Ampesi and Garden-Egg stew, Jollof Rice and Beef stew, etc, etc. The chatter is high in the beginning, but drains off every now and then, until somebody ‘bribes’ their enthusiasm with a round of safe alcohol. Some are not joining in – too many cooks will confuse the taste, I guess. But they burnish the banter, and provide substitutes. The kids are playing close by; hoping to be favoured with testing-tasting first servings. A neighbour sets up mammoth speakers and belts Hiplife tracks on the humid air. Passersby look on amused. The atmosphere is sizzling with expectation, and with preparation. My best friend’s traditional marriage.

My Best Friend's Ghanaian Marriage

If, out of character, I have been away from this space, it is all for good reason. My main man is getting married, and I am his best man. He's actually getting married twice as we do in Ghana. The first marriage, today, (the Ghanaian marriage) is what Ghanaians unknowingly call the 'Engagement'. The white wedding comes tomorrow. Preparing for the 'Engagement' was such fun. Not so much the running around as how all the women (the bride's friends, sisters, cousins, neighbours, etc come together to cook for over one hundred guests. While the men clean the compound, install canopies and arrange the chairs. I will serialise different parts of this spectacle, but I have to go help the groom now.

P.s. I take no responsibility for anything strange I may have written up there. I am not in my usual state of sobriety.

The Economics of Football

I gape at the Beautiful Game: is one successful African footballer not more beneficial to his community than a highbrow hat trick of doctors or teachers or politicians? I may take out teachers because they give a golden gift and (together with doctors) they deal direct benefits. The ball juggler’s jewels, however, glitter indirectly, and are somewhat sentimental, but he regularly remits, right?

Counting Life

17 World Cups
1 Haley's Comet
1 marriage
The curtain comes down

Enye Wo Car N’eeko No?

Office Colleague, Tiger 3, is tottering home knackered. He stops to buy oranges on the way. As he carefully selects the best, the seller asks, “Enye wo car n’eeko no?” (Is that not your car moving off?). He drops the fine oranges and charges after the errant car. He does not make it. The car careers into a drain. He had left it in neutral gear on a sloping bend. The ‘area champions’ who go to his aid, end up picking his wallet. Then they turn around and ‘hold him hostage’ until his wife brings some money to pay for their car-salvage service. There was scant money left to buy oranges after that.

Dog Bites, Man Bites, Bosoms and Laps

Have you heard of a dog being treated for a man bite? Well, a colleague at work swears that in the movie Escape from Sobibor, a man interned at the concentration camp lay his teeth into the hinds of a prison dog set on him to prevent his escape. Ha ha ha ha ha! Otwiara Kose.

Another colleague, a buxom woman, pointed to her (lovely) lap as she referred to her bosom. She’d thought all her life that lap and bosom meant the same thing. Ebei, can’t a man do some serious work in peace. My sides are splitting from the laughter. It’s Silly Tuesday.

Whaaaat! No More Hot Fork on the Streets?

It’s said the Ministry of Information has “banned” the sale of movies rated X in Ghana. I do not know when such movies were ever legal. So I do not know if the Ministry is now saying it has created a new law. Further, doesn’t the ‘Ministry’ know that it does not have any power to make laws? I am all for enforcing the laws against obscenity, but I wonder if we will win against the market forces.