Message Manipulation

See how any message can be manipulated!

MTN’s Insufficient Credit

Lately, when you try to send a text message on MTN’s service, a stupid text message comes up to tell you that you have “insufficient credit” to send the text. Then, you check your credit balance and find out that you have more than GHC11.00 of credit. But when you try to resend your text, the offensive MTN text just keeps popping up.

Those idiots at MTN should know that they do not have SUFFICIENT CREDIT IN THE ESTIMATION OF CUSTOMERS IN GHANA to play around with people like that. If they read this and get angry, they can sue me. I will teach them that "TRUTH" IS THE ULTIMATE DEFENCE in defamation. Incompetent people! They have not even apologised for it.

Toiletiquette

As seen on the door to the toilets at a hangout at Aburi.

We All Do It To God

Two sisters aged 4 and 6 are skipping along a bushy path a few metres from home to buy toffees, when they lose their coins. They look everywhere on and around the path, but do not recover their money. Younger Sister has a brilliant idea, “Let’s pray to God to help us find our money.” Older Sister prays to God saying, “Dear God, if you help us find our money, we promise to give you half of it.”

After the prayer, Younger Sister nudges Older Sister in the ribs and asks, “What have you done? Don’t you know that if we give God half of our money, we won’t have enough left to buy the toffees?” Older Sister smiles a knowing smile, draws her kid sister closer to her and whispers, “Oh, don’t worry about that. I did not mean it. I only said it to trick God into helping us!”

Elias and the (Spelling) Bee

As seen among a friend's Face Book pictures.

On another note, this marks my 600th blog post, and I am celebrating it with a mention as has become a custom. I'm so glad I have not let go of it. You, readers, are the reason why I love this so much. Thank you for coming for the ride.

Boffin Blackout

Ghanaian scientists are whining in Bonn that the ‘benighted’ local media is treating them like an unwanted stepchild. The media counters that the baby-bawlers are media-maladroit, bungling boffins who do not bait with any tantalizing titbits. I side with the media. We have annual floods, electric sockets from China, Indonesian matchsticks and Ivorian body lotion swarming in to fill a vulgar vacuum. So, the Theory-Talkers should shut up, please!

Kwashay

Two boys in overalls scooter-cruise in broad daylight in ‘uncrowded’ streets of Accra. They turn a nook and creep upon an isolated walker. The bike halts; one comes down; he’s brandishing a machete pulled out from under his over-sized clothes; the bag is snatched, the laptop, the watch, the phone and the wallet. They’re gone in ten seconds, leaving only a foul wisp of fuel-adulterate behind. They will hack you down if you resist or delay. Kwashay – riding robbery (or motorbike mugging) in the City of Accra.

Road-building in Accra

Reputable road-builders from Europe and China carve, chisel and plane our African roads with some of their cutting-edge knowhow. In no time, the rains tumble and devour deep holes into the roads and into the reputations of these firms.

Funeral Party in Accra

Twenty cars whizzed through the court-road traffic at high noon towards the Korle quarter of Accra ferrying feisty, frolicking funeral-goers (not mourners) in white Adinkra fabric. They sped on-the-verge-of, and ignored the static cars in the lunch-hour queue, looking to ram through anybody who dared to enter from a side route. Some were beating deafening drums and playing loud-park music, while a camera van 'panoramaed' it on tape. Happy people decked in white (a 40-something-year-old woman winked at me). The deceased must have been very old.

The Lure of the Chieftain

Folds of fine, woven cotton in ivory and azure, sunflower and crimson. Gold bangles, bracelets, rings and ancient pendants. Cowries, beads, a hand-crafted, silken, horsehair whisk and fine-leather sandals. A dark crown-hat with bright reddish-gold and silver sequins, spangles and medallions. Such human pride and splendour. What are his interests: service or ‘serve his’?