Caught on the Crotch-Watch

(Welcome to Silly Friday)

Women always cavil that men address their cleavage in conversation instead of their faces. Well, it’s true, and we aren’t ashamed to admit it. For many years, I’ve been catching women watching my crotch from the corner of their eyes (and other men’s crotches too). Of course, they pretend no such thing has happened. It happens particularly in offices when the woman is sitting down as you approach her. So we ‘cornered’ a colleague who admitted it to us and blamed it on our tight or body-fitting clothes. We did not bother to counter with a question on their low necklines – somehow we knew they’d say it wasn’t quite the same. She said she wondered if some guys kept a pot in their crotch.

As long as you remain on the crotch-watch, we’ll feel free with the cleavage eye-grope.

Living in a Bubble

A doctor friend asked me, "Who can survive on only one job today?"

A student friend asked me, "Whose mummy doesn't have a car?"

It's falsely looking like a monster middle class in Ghana. Who's doing hard work? Who's doing honest work? Who's doing only one? Whose mummy doesn't have a car?

When will the bubble burst? Would it be violent?

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Disappearing Drug

Village thug peacocks his way down an ill-lit path silently daring ghosts and sleeping villagers to come wrestle with him. He believes he wields the power to disappear into thin air. Two members of a rival gang un-fade from the darkness to menace him. Village Thug derides them and tries to evaporate, but the drug or divinity or hoodoo does not work. They wring his neck until he dies. I saw this last night in a Nigerian movie and laughed myself senseless. Disappearing drug, huh!

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The Lamppost

Out of habit, he haunts his house-front in the night. Oblivious of the now-glacial Accra night-time draft, he stands bare-chested and lonely like a naked lamppost.

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We All Know What You're Not!

As seen on the High Street, Accra.

Not Quite Almighty

Just when I was getting close (at last) with God, somebody went and gave him a new name.

Teacher-Stripping

Some punk pupils in a school couldn't wrap their sappy minds around the basic syllabus because (they claimed) three female teachers  distressingly did up in mind-numbing miniskirts and devastating dresses. The ‘roused’ ‘pubescents’ posted a letter to the principal dictating that the ‘cheesecake’ cease or they'd strip the teachers naked! Then, the cops came in. Do (don’t) the teachers need a talking?