Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Corrective Rape

Corrective rapes
Collective rapes
Sour grapes
Stone-age apes

Monday, July 4, 2011

Rough Riders In The City Of Accra

No bulging bags after six pm. Really wretched riders will ooze out of the lessening light with scimitars and lurch for your wrist or jugular. Delayed submission leads to loathsome laceration. Best give up the sac and ask if they don't require the padded wallet and matching shoes as well.

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Sunday, July 3, 2011

When The Power Gets Cut (As Usual)

It's amazing how everything (but my bodily functions) ceased when the electricity company cut the power during a poco-powerful storm. It's been off for 7 hours now.

I was lucky that my handheld held all day (after the laptop had died in a fight scene of a psycho-thriller) even though I Whatsapped, BBM'd, Gtalked and tweeted all day.

In a blast from the past, I scoured every column and feature in the Graphic and Mirror by torchlight. Nostalgia - I don't read the papers anymore. I get all my news from the digital media.

So, the electricity company goons may outdo even their own assinine record. I'll turn the vacuum into a positive experience.

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Saturday, July 2, 2011

Holiday Hangouts in the City of Accra

Not surprising. The traffic circle near the Accra Mall was jammed. Packed thick with cars. 4 lanes of cars in a two-lane way. All were going into the Mall. Most did not make it. The Mall was already full of herds. On a public holiday, there is nowhere to go. They all throng the beaches or the Mall. Oh, the Mall was a pen or sty.

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hitting on the Home-Route Girl

Silly, old man. Leaning over the till in the convenience shop at a service station. He miscalculated he could use the sales girl for his convenience. When I walked in, he was in the middle of crooning the history of bank notes to her. He stopped when my shadow darkened the note. He said she could pocket the 'clinky' change of two coins. She said a rapid half-thanks and dumped them noisily in the cash register. He could not have missed her sublime slight.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Case for the Demolition of Drums

Must State and corporate official events always be laced with trombo-trumpet tooting and brain-busting drumming even during office hours? Is it cultural to fritter away your waking hours with frivolous fun and to dim-wit distract others who want to do something else?

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When A Car ‘Bumps You’ in the City of Accra

You have cleverly got around the insane traffic by pushing out at a thin hour. You are steering through a dark, ‘un-peopled’ spot when a car ghosts into your rear view. It catches up with you, and you slow down, but it does not overhaul. A small jolt and a jangling sound tell you the car behind has eaten your ‘ass’. You screech to a halt to inspect the damage and maybe replicate it on the other driver’s face. He also slips out (with his previously hidden mates) and holds a piece to your gonads. They zoom off with your valuables (and maybe your car). If you are still wrapping your mind around what is happening, you have just been robbed!