Teacher is Hanging

A teacher is playing Verb-Charades with his eight-year old pupils. He goes down on all fours, and they shout, “Teacher is crawling, teacher is crawling.”

He gets up off his hands and they scream, “Teacher is crouching, teacher is crouching.”

He stands up, and they yell, “Teacher is standing, teacher is standing.”

He starts bobbing on the spot, and they call out, “Teacher is jumping, teacher is jumping.”

From here, things take a macabre turn. The passion of the moment seizes the teacher, and he feels he must outdo himself to please his pupils. He puts a table in the middle of the classroom, just under the fan. Take stands on it and takes off his belt. He makes a noose and puts it around his neck.

As the teacher mimics a hanging man, the pupils break into the refrain, “Teacher is hanging, teacher is hanging.”

The teacher starts to dance to the rhythm of the pupils’ chants. He sways this way and that. He gyrates a bit too hard, and the table collapses under his feet. The children love it – their teacher can act so real!

Outside in the other classrooms, the teachers become a bit worried. The refrain, “Teacher is hanging” has been going on for ten minutes, and the devilment of the pupils is rising into a frenzy.

“Teacher is hanging, teacher is hanging”

When the other teachers run into the classroom, the teacher hangs dead from the ceiling fan!

(Picture credit - blogs.pitch.com)

Off-Screen Rivalry in the City of Accra (1)

Unhealthy rivalry can be wholesome. I see it unfolding in the movie industry. On their birthday, each ‘star’ adopts a charity to splurge on. Then, Affronted-Next-Friend-Competitor floors, licks and outshines them on their birthday. At the end of each year, the orphans savoured a banquet, the lepers were doted on in a day, and the rural kids relished a pledged, newly built classroom block.

Will the celebs continue one-upping one another next year, and the next, and the next? Why won’t one of them pay off the debt of the Tema Oil Refinery? Why won’t a second finish the Accra-Kumasi Road? Why won’t a third fix the inter-city rail that we so need in Accra? They believe that they have the clout to pull it off, no?

Anti-Farting Laws

So there’s a bill in parliament making ‘fouling the air’ an offence. One senior judge thinks it means go to the toilet if you need to “pui” or “tui” or “fuish”. Another thinks it simply is against air pollution. I say it even extends to dirty and smelly clothes and armpits (in the cities). However, this debate is very far away from Ghana. What do you think about this?

(Picture credit - munfitnessblog.com)

I've Fallen in Love... Times

Sunset at Worli Sea Face

How many times have I been in love? Let me see. Not counting yesterday's sunset, Lil Girl, Manchester United and Marion, 1000 times.

You?

Movie Production Cartels in Ghana and Nigeria

Movie producers in the 2 countries are trying to regulate the movie industry. As part of the plan, they want to control and moderate the number of actors from each country who feature in the flicks produced in the other. They have formed cartels, and they blacklist and ban any producer or actor who flouts their guidelines. These guidelines include getting a permit of a sort to work on movie sets in the other country. I’m not talking about the legal requirement of a work permit – the producers have their own additional permit. It is protectionism, right? But the producers in either country support it wholly, and even collaborate to enforce these restrictions. I guess if an actor is banned in both countries, they can move to Uganda.

V & S Blogger

Violence and Sex! Apparently that’s all I write about. Just kidding. Enyonam called me out for this 'award' – Versatile and Stylish Blogger. The crown fits with difficulty, but my thanks are sincere.

The rules say to tell 7 things about myself and to pass on the award to another 15. I can find 7 things to confess, but I don’t know if I can sincerely point to only15 bloggers – I am positive there are 200 with style in Ghana alone. I ordinarily wouldn't play this chain email/post game, but I can make an exception for the Diva.

7 Things

1 – I get angry everyday

2 – I dream everyday of flying by simply flapping my arms

3 – I eat very little and sleep even less

4 – I believe in systems and formulae for everything we do

5 – I’m afraid of standing out in excellence

6 – I’m crazy about ‘breastices’

7 – I dream of wild fame (funny considering my point # 5)

15! Hmmm!

1 – Muse

2 – Nash

3 – Nana Fredua

4 – Kwegyirba

5 – Myne Whitman

6 - Muze

7 – Kitchen Floor Cockroach

8 – Mr Knight

9 – Ms Understood

10 – Nana Darkoa

11 – Esi (of course)

12 – Nana Kofi Acquaah

13 – Ato KD

14 – Kajsa

15 – Daixy

The Failure of the Cashless Society in Ghana

Money is dangerous ... to carry. You could lose it, or lose your life over it, right? So the Bank of Ghana introduced a debit card that you could ‘load with your money’ and use for all transactions. Ain’t that cute? But it failed.

Why did it fail? Culture!

Many years ago in Europe, the currency was gold. Then bankers came up. They took in your gold  and wrote an acknowledgement on paper, and a promise to give back your gold whenever you presented your IOU. Because the IOU was backed by gold, traders accepted it as payment for goods and services. That paper evolved into cash.

After the Colonialist has taught the Ghanaian to accept paper in place of cowries or shells or cola as money, somebody gets up and says let’s now use plastic. We will put all your money on the plastic and you can pay for anything with it. I look at my wad of 1000 Cedis and wonder how you can put it all on a little plastic card. No Sire, I beg your pardon.

So the card failed. Many have one in their pocket. It’s as light as the wind and as empty as a vacuum. Next time anybody wants to change a system of doing things, let them not ignore history and culture. Smh.

(Picture Credit - Countingoncurrency.com)