The Swinger

Swinging showily down the spruced-up sidewalk of the Ring Road East, just past the Ako-Adjei interchange, in her blue denims, a flimsy, frilly cobalt top and a coffee ‘overtop’, I eyed her as her wonderfully moulded body perked up the streets where the cuckoo crowd clusters not, whether morning, sun or five.

Population Circus in Accra

The homeless hustlers of Accra loathe being counted by the government. They’ve been reckoned once or twice before, but they were not lavished with the loot or nice living. Why should they let you number their foreheads in their open-sky bed-and-bath-rooms? Do you care? They heckle and harangue the head-counters from ‘their’ streets until they ‘heel’ it to the hotels. There, some managers would not let them count the guests. Maybe they aren’t supposed to be there. There’s a census going on. Or did I hear wrong; is it a circus?

Female ‘Bonk’ Workers

A bank is NOT a safe place to keep your valuables chaste. Maybe not in Ghana today, where there’re no jobs for fresh graduates, and those who grab a position (or is it the position which ‘grabs’ them) suffer slavish terms. We’ve always inferred that some banks shanghai their female employees to do ‘a little extra’ banging banking to suck in the moneyed clients. So, while Clients can keep on keeping their gold and diamonds in a bank, young female employees may well lose their Rubies and Pink Sapphires after working hours.

Brains or Beauty?

Would I rather be super intelligent or extremely good looking? It's past 10 p.m. on Sunday, I am tired and sleepy, hating that Monday comes immediately after Sunday and probably not thinking right. It seems to me that it does not matter which one you are, you'd get by and ahead anyway.

Curse of a Chinese Coffin

Colossal China is creeping across the continents, I know. But, for God’s sake, why should Greener Ghana, which vainly values funerals first on the social calendar, import timber caskets from Clayey China?

Go Shoot Togo, Not My House!

To crush and annihilate Togo! I grew up thinking that was what we had the army for. You see, when I was growing up, there was a military junta in charge, and it was not that friendly with Togo. Soldiers strutted on the streets and eyeballed, menaced or slapped fear into the hearts of civilians. Ok, so I also thought the men in green kept civilian discipline.

So I was wrong in some respects. We are now democratic, and our soldiers are stationed straight to ‘blitzkrieg’ deter Togo and other neighbouring countries, or to help in natural and human disasters within the country. Soldiers have sometimes done more than keep the peace within. They have sometimes flexed their muscle in disagreements with us poor civilians.

So, imagine my discomfort when, in these days when the military has cleaned up its image and gained more respect than many state institutions, I read that the military had shot down a pastor’s house because they claimed he’d built it on their land! See the story here.

No Gold Going for a Song

Those 'well-watered' Westerners who strike cyber friendships and business partnerships with West Africans, let me etch this on your minds: there are no gold nuggets glittering, and there is no fairy gold dust winnowing, on the streets; there is no gold bullion in the dingy rooms of faux royal families. Ergo, before your greed eggs you on to wire reckless dollars to criminal cliques in order to earn sky-high returns, won’t you at least take the time to learn about the social and business culture, names and norms?