Academic Licence to Kill

One misty, moisty morning, in the early 2000s, at the University of Ghana, Legon, a professor beat his student black and blue in his office. Now, lecturer-student battering was so common in those days, that this bludgeoning almost went unnoticed. Ok, that is not quite true. Because it was so hideously shocking, people started to ferret for information. Why would a distinguished professor lay aside his dignity and take his bare knuckles to the junior jawbone of a student? The answer arrived quick and thick with scandal. The martyred undergrad had taken two things from the cruel Sensei.

The dandy don was besotted beside himself with a girl in his African Studies class. Being all brawn, but not very ballsy, he found a boy in his class to deliver daily presents and notes of love to the Legon Lovely. Between the dispatch and handover time, confusion must have settled on his roguish mind, for the double-dealing Boy Student presented himself as the Giver-of-Gifts and the Lost-in-Love. So, Girl Student falls for Boy Student in the praying (or is it preying) Professor’s stead. Professor finds out, and gives Boy Student a first-degree demolition.

Foreskin Alert!

Spending a pleasant penny in the men’s room in our office building. Scary-looking dude clicks his hard soles into the room. Though there’s plenty of pee room beside me, dude is just standing behind me twiddling with his fly. I do a half-turn and fix a stern eye. Dude heads to the toilet-cubicles. I hear the jet of pee hit the bowl. Then, it all comes to me. Dude is hiding the fact that he still possesses a hermit prepuce!

Ideal Love for Your Partner

You have to view them
Like a star on TV.
Do not examine them
Under a microscope.

I’m Pregnant for You!

That got you reading, no? How many times I hear people say ‘pregnant for’ when talking about a gravid girl and her siring mate! The elusive preposition to put some cheery decency into the situational biology is ‘with’. ‘A’ is pregnant WITH ‘B’, and not FOR ‘B’, unless the obstetric outcome is under a curious contract by which ‘B’ paid money to ‘A’ to get pregnant for ‘B’. It could also sadly mean that ‘A’, who is pregnant, does not love the child, even before the poor thing is born. If you would say ‘with’, then we could all go away with gossip and the hope that the coming child arrives to love and not regret.

Fantasies of a 31 Year Old

So, what should you do,
When you're almost thirty-two,
With unexplored fantasies,
And hormones playing 'Tease'?

Crying Women in the City of Accra

What mighty misfortune visits, that a fully-grown, self-possessed woman should jaywalk like a just-orphaned waif, at solar-soaked midday, in front of the presidential palace in the city of Accra, ululating unconsoled, with her hands on her head, while searching the faces of anguished watchers in the traffic streaming by? Is that a portrait of how people generally feel about life? Huh? Huh?

Harmattan Heat Season

Cold, Dry Wind in jejune January
Hold your lecherous lick until I’m snoozing
Or blow your foxy feistiness the other way
I’ve made a painful promise of Chastity