Sunday, August 1, 2010

Un-I-Doing in the City of Accra

They grumble that divorce is competing healthily-unhealthily on the sombre-statistics table in the nuptial city of Accra. Some propose that today’s talented women are anti-BS and will make you gorge yourself on some. I have double doubts about that. Other people whine that young people are getting hitched for wretched reasons. I’m open to looking into that. Is love the only right reason? What about respect? Convenience? Empathy? Need?


  1. I think you just opened a can of nasty korle lagoon worms.

  2. Oh say it again Nana Kofi.

    @NY, yes, it's true that more and more women are standing up for themselves. We're emancipated and have the right to walk out if we're being treated unfairly.

    I agree also that more people are getting married for the wrong reasons. We're still thinking like we did in the past. Women bend to social pressure to get hitched. The old guard has drummed our role into our heads and we KNOW that we HAVE to get married. Then a few years down the line, we realise our mistake, that we married someone who doesn't and never will gel with us. least it's what i think

  3. As women become educated, some want to use their skills and look for careers. As thinking women they become restless as 'home-makers' (ie domestic slaves). This brings many challenges to the traditional concept of marriage. Some even commit heresy and start to challenge the biblical notion that men are the captain of their ship. Some become more educated than their husbands and some bring more income into the home.
    Hey - who's idea was it to educate women anyway!

  4. Kwame Mensa-Bonsu02 August, 2010

    Marry in haste....divorce in even more haste! People should slow on the fastlane are full of unpleasant accidents.

  5. I agree with Daixy. Most young people are getting married because of pressure and mostly for the wrong reasons too, forgetting it is for the long haul. I guess that is why most also view divorce as an option. What a shame it is even an option in the first place!

  6. Let's separate emotional and financial readiness for marriage...
    Back in the day, economic opportunities were limited so it took longer for people to be ready for marriage- in the financial sense. And because economic opportunities were few, most people married for convenience in addition to towing the social line or fulfilling cultural expectations. You could say love did cost a thing back then. But, relatively speaking, the economic tide has turned. Opportunities abound. The time it takes to be (financially) ready for marriage has decreased. People are making progress in all kinds of ways... Guess what has remained static? Social/cultural expectations. Think of fitting square poles in round holes. It's difficult, if not impossible. The challenges are enormous. In the same way, the intersection of economic progress and culturally static expectations can be fraught with a few tensions. It's a tricky intersection. No signs. No clear understanding of rights-of-way. No manual. No guarantees. Shouldn't come as a wonder that some folks just can't successfully navigate it. Wreckages are sure to happen. Forget convenience and expectations! What about love? What about mutual respect? Compatibility?

  7. Nana Kofi:
    Well, it must be opened, no?

    Should not some of that emancipation be targeted towards fighting the societal pressure to get hitched? ;-)

    Believe me, it was a man's idea! Lol.

    Kwame MB:
    Um, how much time should we wait to get hitched. I'm told you can never be very sure.

    Marriage should not have an exit strategy? Doesn't even prison have one? Lol.

    My, that's many different angles! I'm still studying them one by one. Lol.

  8. Nelson Akondo05 August, 2010

    I couldn't agree with you more, marriage is not just about love, as far as marriage is concerened i think love is superficial. Marriage is a giant step in any person's life and like any important life changing decision it must be "strategic". That's the reality most people fail to acknowledge...until it hits them hard in the face, by which time its too late. Divorces are nasty no matter how you look at it and we should be a lot more patient and strategic. Check mate:)

  9. Kwame Mensa-Bonsu05 August, 2010

    One can never be very sure in life about all things....but one can reasonably sure. As a Lawyer, NY, I'm sure "reasonably" is a word you are familiar with.

  10. @ Nelson:
    I have to agree with you. If marriage is based on love alone, it will not have far to go.

    @ Kwame Mensa-Bonsu:
    Um, isn't the idea to take it one day at a time? We cannot be reasonably sure about any human being, right?


After writing your comment, please select the Name/URL box below, and write your name in the box, before submitting your comment.