Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The Demons Who Betray
What are the social lines? In a small society, where everybody knows everybody else, can friends go after their friends’ partners? Can your partner guiltlessly go for your friend? Which would mean that marriage is the only sacred grounds? If the answer is ‘yes’, then please go ahead and tell me the difference between ‘friend’ and ‘fiend’.
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Well, I know some who would say would say there is not much difference except pretense on the part of the 'friend'
ReplyDeleteBut like you said, it is a small society so 'guiltlessly'-i don't think so but ability-wise- yes. Society-wise- yes. Is this supposed to be rhetorical, am i just rambling?
i recently came to the realisation that there are few real friends who ruly meet all the requirements of friendship , who accept you wholeheartedly and love you no matter what. every friend has an element of fiend.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to beat around the bush. I think it's wrong, big city or small town all the same. I think we agree on that. I guess, to my dismay, even marriage isn't a sacred ground anymore. People cheat. The difference of friend and fiend? I agree with anonymous to an extent, most "friends" have an element of fiend. I don't trust anyone but my very closest. I think that is limited to one person only.
ReplyDeleteIs that fair? To massacre my friend's soul by going after her partner? Should people cheat, Adaese? A question without a sensible answer. Some married men find nothing wrong in cheating, they ave no value,they have o respect for the ring on their fingers...oh how sacred we've kept what God instituted for man.
ReplyDeleteIf a partner should betray then how much more a friend.
Antye504, I perfectly understand you. The 'ought-to' happens in the small and still-simple societies. The 'is' happens in normal societies. The 'is' is the disregard of morality. But that is another argument since we really cannot give a universal meaning for morality in many situations.
ReplyDeleteYes, Anon, that is so apt! Every friend in a potential fiend!
ReplyDeleteAda, I agree with all you said with all my heart. And if I had 10 hearts, I would agree with you with all of them!
ReplyDeleteNaa, to your question about massacring a friend's soul, you put it so graphically and gothically (shall I say?) It is rhetoric...it needs no answer. Shame of the Devils who Betray.
ReplyDelete@Naa - I am not sure if I understand your comment and what part of it is directed at me - but of course I think that people should NEVER cheat. I think it is the worst thing one can do to a friend/partner and requires no discussion. It is plain wrong and shows weakness in character and lack of respect for oneself and your significant other. No dignity or integrity, qualities i Believe to be some of the most important in people.
ReplyDelete@ Nana - How sweet :-) I am glad you agree. Whoa, this is such a creepy topic to me..
Thanks, Ada. I know the topic is creepy. There is a fine theme I was hoping would be discussed. Cheating is bad, period! But if one would cheat shouldn't they have the sense and compassion to do it with a stranger and not their partner's friend? I mean are we living in Stone Age? I've seen the 'Flintstones'. Lol. And they do not quite behave like this!
ReplyDeletei can confidently vouch for fred flinstone and say he never so much as looked at barney's wife betty. cheating is bad but never simple; ask any cheater and you'll recieve a sob story about how horrible they feel about what they did ( usually though the horrible feeling sets i after they are caught) now can someone please tell me if you think you love your current partner's friend; that he is the only one for you then is it ok to cheat or do you let the love of your life slip away.
ReplyDeleteSniffy,Doggy-do stuff.
ReplyDeleteFriend? My foot!
Such are perverts, sex-fiends, who won't blink an eyelid on their way to doing your partner and your children as well.
The man/woman who agrees to bonk a friend's partner is the sickening fiend of them all.
My blood is already boiling.Geez!
It seems that we will somewhat always live in the stone age judging on what is happening these days and the lengths people are willing to go in their deceit. I agree, one should have the sense to not do it with their partners friend, but then again I think the act of cheating itself is without sense and compassion at all, so I am unsure of what difference it really makes. If your friend is willing to steal your husband/wifey from you, no matter how painful it may be, you are better off without both of them. Better to throw that nasty friend out of your life sooner than later, cuz he/she already has the dirty mind/capability of that betrayal.
ReplyDeleteAnon, I think Freddie F has suckered you!
ReplyDeleteAnd, oh, Anon, if you love your partner's friend this is the one instance where good sense must let true love go!
ReplyDeleteI just love those words, Posekyere. That society you are creating is a most moral one. Can I live there?
ReplyDeleteI agree, once again, Ada. I think we can all agree that we meet the partners of our siblings, friends, workmates, schoolmates etc etc and remark how attractive they are. And then, we move on. That is healthy and permitted. If we realise we are stuck on them, we must take responsibility and perish the thought/feeling before it takes root. Then, we will not use the convenient excuse that it crept up on us and it is now too late! This is tiring!
ReplyDeleteDownright perfidy!
ReplyDeleteNY tell me that these affairs are not REALLY happening. I cannot even bring myself to imagine having a hanky panky with my friend's wife. And mind you I am not that prudish.
ReplyDeleteIf there are any boundaries anywhere, surely this where they must be drawn.No?
These things, Posekyere, are happening somewhere around me!
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is what goes through the head of these cheaters at the very moment they are cheating. I want to know exactly what they are thinking...
ReplyDeleteI mean its one thing to cheat but to cheat with a so called friend's significant other... Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I certainly dont have the balls for it.
The only thing that will be going through my mind even before cheating will be "________ (insert friend's name) was here first" lol.
Maybe its just me.
Yes, Kiz, perfidy. I told you about it, right?
ReplyDeleteDear Raine,
ReplyDeleteYou're sooooooo right!
And, oh, we all talk about 'cheaters' as if they are other people. But, they really are us in hibernation. We could do it one day and change overnight from 'clean' to 'cheater'.
the belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary: men alone are quite capable of every wickedness... joseph conrad
ReplyDeleteSooooo true, Anon!
ReplyDeletewow! what choices we impose on ourselves!
ReplyDeleteme think man and woman must be free to relate to whoever is so desired. no strings must be tied to the breast or balls.
i won't kill a friend who thinks to whisk my 'beloved' away is the best thing to ever happen on this earth for him (or her?).
take me to that society! is there one yet on this earth???
Each to their own, Nov. You want to live close to the edge? Have at it!
ReplyDeleteHi all,
ReplyDeleteI think we are all overlooking a few things and all our commets so far indicate this fact.
I do not know how many of us sat down to understand the meanings of the Words Partner, Friend and Fiend as used in the post, or even bothered to determine whether we indeed live in a small society (everybody knows everybody).
This true story will help illustrate what I,m driving at:
A boy had a 'partner' who often came to visit him when he was in College. One day, the boy decided to 'strenghten' the partnership, so he decided to take his 'partner' to a cozy place so they could talk about it. On their way, the partner asked the boy,'What do you think of your friend, Kwasi?'. The boy answered,'He is a nice guy, but why do you ask?'. The parner answered,'He proposed to me the last time I came to visit, and I think I like him so I accepted the proposal.'
Sometimes, we assume there is a 'partnership' when in fact there exist none, and we also think our friends know all about us when indeed they do not have the slightest clue who we are.
If we love somebody and we've made the person and the whole world aware of this fact and acceptable to them, and we ourselves have acted in accordance with our feelings, that should be enought chinese wall to protect our love. But if we only assume, we should not use words like fiend as a defence.
Good day!!!
@Anon!
ReplyDeletesociety would always have norms! and sometimes you even wonder who and who make up the society when clearly there are differing opinions. so we have assumptions everyday!
what is important for me is to ensure that an adult man/woman is left free to choose for him/herself what association to partake in.
so be it friend, partner or fiend or assumed, it should not be lost us that a woman should feel free to accept my proposal while even she wears the 'wedding ring' of another man.
it is up to the woman involved to deal with her partner or friend while i press on freely to have my 'acceptance' consummated into another union!
and that is a true story too!!! true!
Anon's true story seems sharply tailored to achieve one end only - an apologist's. That's my view. Most friends know their friends' partners even if they are not formally introduced. To look the other way is to play possum!
ReplyDeleteAs you say, Novisi.
ReplyDeleteNY, have to agree with you on this point yes it's wrong to assume or take for granted that a partnership exists. but when a relationship is more than a friendship or some one is important, sometimes your friends figure out where your interest lies even before you do.
ReplyDeleteThanks, second Anon. As I said, most friends cannot claim genuine ignorance. They feign to defraud.
ReplyDelete