Friday, August 6, 2010

The Shit Storm

We all get the tummy trots from bad food, sweets, spices or fear. The other day I compared notes with friends and colleagues on the cold sweat, malaise and black eye of the rapid runs. We shared startling similarities.

For most people the shit storm makes landfall (or shall we say intestine fall) after midnight.

Most people can hold in the runs while on the move (in the city) but when they get home and near the toilet, the muscles relax and any obstacles or delays and, pffffff, it trickles down the legs.

The runs are sometimes held back by a solid pellet which when ejected with a mistimed foolish fart turns on the taps of Montezuma’s Revenge.

The trots dislike sudden moves; for when the first drop dribbles out, the funnel flares and the faucets overflow.

17 comments:

  1. NY? Seriously.....?

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  2. Haha, I think this is the citizen journalism I have been missing in Ghana.

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  3. Nana, what a thing to write about? Lol. Anyway, I guess that's why your Mr Anti Rhythm.

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  4. OMG! Such a picturesque description Nana. But, you forgot to talk about the music that is played by fluids in the alimentary canal as they push you towards your breaking point.... lol!

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  5. Nana, you forgot menstrual diarrhoea!

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  6. ewwwww this is gross.

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  7. Bold choice of topic. Be adventurous like this, Nana. But gross topic all the same.

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  8. @ NYA, I can't believe you did this :P Very bold, hun. I admire that. You've made me and my roomie ROFL tonight. We'll be sending you our laundry bill.

    @ Devlin, I don't think menstrual diarrhoea is as bad as the actual runs. Menstrual diarrhoea usually gives you prior warning (bloating, gas, back ache...) at least you know to expect the need to run to the washroom. Actual runs? You'll be lucky if you make it to the door let alone to the can :P

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  9. I once had this same discussion at a work dinner. Turns out that everyone over 30 had pooped their pants at least once in a public place. I'm sure there some interesting research to be done here. I thought muscles got stronger the more you exercised them? You are right that accidents normally happen outside your front door. For me, I go regularly at 6am. Problem is I don't wake up till 7am!

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  10. Ouch! But I think we can all sympathize, or should I say, empathize?

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  11. Anon @ 13.38:
    Yes, seriously! A very serious topic!

    Kajsa:
    Thank you very kindly. I will give you some from time to time.

    Anon @ 16.03:
    Thanks. There's always another rhythm to discover.

    Enyonam:
    Truly, I explored the musical pipes too, but had to sacrifice them for brevity's sake. Thank you for bringing it up.

    Devlin:
    Hey, long time. Um, I did not know about menstrual diarrhoea, but I think Daixy has delivered a riposte below.

    Tetekai:
    LOL

    Anon @ 17.36:
    I presume it never happened to you then! Or for correct social behaviour, we choose to talk about some of our 'things' and ignore others?

    Anon @ 18.19:
    Um thanks, I think. Adventurism is surrendering to it, when our writing takes us anywhere.

    @ Daixy:
    The laundry bill? Did it get dirty from the floor or did your hard laughing release any runs into your clothes? Looooooooooool!

    @ Nana Yaw Sarpong:
    Thank you very kindly.

    @ Novisi:
    You always say it like it is! Thank you.

    @ Grahamghana:
    My interviewees made a similar confession - all pooping their pants, though some said it happened when they were children. Imagine the one act (among all others) that connects us all in empathy!

    @ Nina:
    Thank you, I think it is empathize.

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  12. @ Nana. I haven't had an accident since I was a little tot and couldn't get mama to understand that I needed the potty :P

    PS. My roomie thinks you're nutts lol

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  13. @ Daixy:
    How bad it must feel to belong to such a stark minority! Tell your roomie I'm perfectly normal. Just trying to be real!

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  14. @ Nana. Not my fault if I always get the warning signs early and find a bathroom :P I doubt I'd ever get over the embarrassment if I had an "accident" in front of others :(

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