Heritage Tower, Ridge. The tallest building in the City of Accra? I have fascinating yarns about pretty, forbidding women in its stodgy, deviant lifts, the queer nasal taste of unwashed humanity and the loathsome car park.
There, a shrimp of a security guard jumped over a dwarf wall (almost his height) near the ATM, where I was standing. In utter disbelief, I preached “I didn’t imagine you would do that!” The insane imp thought I was applauding his Olympic feat, and encouraged me with gold-medal vanity, “You can also do it.”
Of course, I was struck speechless. What do you say to a dwarfish dunce you have employed to keep thieves away, when the villainous employee is showing them the easiest way in? I realised he had to have come through the unending chaos of cars behind the violated fence. I hurried off to try all the doors of mine, taking my time terribly in order that he’d see my intended insult.
Then, I crept up the stairs into the building, counting every step in turn like a true gentleman should.
lol. this is a hilarious piece, the amusing bit, being 'you can do it too, i can imagine the sheepish look on his face as he says somethin as hilarious as that.
ReplyDeleteLol. The look on his face was more assinine than sheepish. You got the wrong animal. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you finally wrote about this incident. Your snobbery shines through beautifully in this comic piece.
ReplyDeleteI forgot I was with Maya when this circus happened. Snobbery, Maya? :)
ReplyDeleteI suspect your intended insult was lost on him since it appears too dignified and complex for his comprehension
ReplyDeleteI suspect you're right. Maybe, then, my reaction was for the personal satisfaction of feeling morally or culturally superior to him. Bad words for a good thing I am trying to say. :-)
ReplyDeleteyou can also do it. haha. that made me laugh out loud. Funniest entry i've read from you yet:)
ReplyDeletethere are others, friend.
ReplyDelete