Friday, March 21, 2014

Old Warriors and Pretty Young Wives - Pt 2

The Plot

She’d go to her old man at night
But he’d lost his warrior’s might
And would he take the father’s blame
When he could not light a flame?

The time, it was a-going
Her bump, it was a-showing
Women whispered under the trees
As she passed, through cough and sneeze

Oh, her name was Adwoa
Her old man called her Eno
But her response became sour
As he aged into a minnow

The young lovers turned to fear
Shame and execution nestled near
They had now to run away
Or the old cuckold to slay

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Old Warriors and Pretty Young Wives - Pt 1

Just A Little Bit of Fun

An old warrior and his pretty young wife
Lived a quiet and peaceful life
With the spoils of war, and not a care
But a fire was raging in her

A great conqueror he'd once been
But his spirit was no longer keen
And her blood was hot and boiling
And her old man just a-toiling

So she made friends with a young man
A fierce warrior from a nearby clan
And they’d sneak away many nights
While the vet dreamt of his ancient fights

In no time, she had a fever
Her young champ had loved with fervour
And the oldie would soon come round
To her little growing mound

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Can We Ever Like Our Cops?

Tell me - is there anything rarer in this land than a courteous traffic cop? (Not counting dollar transactions or the frequency of my blog posts). Recently, a cop 'arrested' my sister for jumping the "amber lights" at 10 pm. After apologies and a promise to be of good behaviour only made him angry, she resigned to going to the police station with him. Don't you think that should have pleased him? Well it didn't.

One hour later, he had failed to bully her to offer him a bribe of 400 Cedis. And he could no longer take her to the station because he couldn't explain why a 5-minute drive had taken an hour at traffic-less 10 pm. When passersby inched closer to smell what he was cooking up at the roadside at that time, he quickly crawled into a getaway hole.

The men in black
Are difficult to back.


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Friday, March 7, 2014

The Twelve Deaths of Chivalry

The door flies agape, and the boor slimes in. He flings it the other way, and nearly plasters the face of the woman in his wake. He plods to the queue, and snakes along to the head where a little kid stands. On the next turn, he swats the infant aside with his left hand. While making his order, his ‘megaphone’ bangs out of his pocket. In three minutes, he broadcasts his side affair to the whole world. Then, he makes his order. He foot-sweeps the tiles on his way out. He flops into the car before he remembers the woman he came with. She’s barely sat down, when he shoots the car forward, cutting across a moving car beside him. His music blares out in doltish decibels. His smirk shows he’s proved how important he is.

Friday, December 13, 2013

The Small Claims Man

That afternoon, he was uneasily installed behind a tiny, dark-wood desk. That morning, he’d chosen a chimera of a lime green shirt matched with a black necktie with dirty white stripes...or a white necktie with faded black stripes. If planned as a weapon to disorient me, then first blood to him. While he negotiated a small insurance claim with me, my eyes tried to negotiate a huge, yellow splotch out of his tie. Both negotiations failed. We agreed to come back another day. I then escaped from this semi-piebald-semi-skewbald circus.

Friday, November 8, 2013

On the Transience of Public Office

I want to live my life
Above political strife
The level I'm at today
Shouldn't overnight sneak away

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Honey, I Changed My Face

I guess padded bras and bums fall in this category – duty of disclosure. My office mates cannot agree on whether she should have told him. I’m talking about the ‘ugly’ Chinese woman who went under the knife, erased her past, loathsome life, and then became a wife. If there’s a duty, is it legal or moral? Office Female Miss Little Naughty says she didn’t owe him zilch. But she says he’d have owed her a duty of disclosure if he was a transsexual. How about hair implants? Or breast enlargement? Or replaced teeth? Liposuction? It can get absurd. Oh, bleached / toned / lightened / de-melanin-ed skin? Duty, anyone?