Playgirl Pedicurist

The other day, Miss Jackson beheld my pachyderm’s soles, and hurried into hysteria. She asked if I had played wild sport barefoot as a child. I confirmed. Then, I confided in her about this young, pretty pedicurist at my mother’s hairdresser’s. I started a wanton weekly visit after seeing and ogling her the first time. As she masterfully massages here, and sensuously caresses that spot, she flashes a wily wink every time she unearths a neuro-ticklish neighbourhood. After each winsome session, she’d cajole me for my number, again, and ask when I had some free evening time! If a pedicure is such a carnal contact sport, I wonder why any love interest would push me to play.

Fairy Tales

I'm thinking of the amazing Hans Christian Andersen and

the old wonderful feeling that everything was possible in life, and that good magic happened one moment in time, and we all lived happily ever after.

Weekend at Akosombo Bay

This weekend away
At Akosombo Bay
So hard will I play
And malinger on Monday

...And That's Good Advice!

Champi Dog Veterinarian Advice by Champi NL

Never take advice from a person who's never worn your glasses (i.e. been in your situation.)

I Demand ...

Punctuality
So that barbers, tailors, mechanics and clerks would arrive at the agreed time and do some darn work!

Openness
So my partner cannot cheat on me simply because they can.

36 hours a day
So that I can spend the extra 8 sleeping (it's the only sleep I will get).

Creativity Opportunities
So that I can finally live the life I want, doing what really makes me happy!

Clear Signs
So that I know you put me above the competition, and do not offer the competition what you offer me.

An Extra Day
So that we can have a 3-day weekend.

A Pay Rise
So that I can justify waking up from bed, to myself!

No-Dogs-Allowed Signs Everywhere
In all the places I go. I just thought you should all know that I loathe canines.

Clearer (not necessarily stricter) Immigration Rules
So that we know who's legally here!

Flexitime
How is a person supposed to live on only one job in Ghana?

Many More Things Than I have Stated Here
Because we should never stop at trying to get better!

If I Could Tame a Wild Animal

It would have to be my uncivilised hair. Too many girls have asked me why my hair is not "Dada B" (= soft and beautiful). These days, it's easy for me to tell them that my unsightly grown hair is caused by a life so far of bad food. The wild animal I'd like to tame is my hair.

But, then again, a panther is not unthinkable too!

Ponko Huri Ta in the City of Accra

I am not a big fan of picturesque proverbs. I like daily “direktspeak”. This scatological saying in Akan, however, fascinates me to fits; a pithy line which translates lengthily into English as “The Ass should not even think of jumping over an obstacle, when the sheer effort makes the Horse fart”. Last night, sliding along the N2 to Aburi, which goes through tranquil, lambent Legon, cars were ambling over the rugged reach from Okponglo almost up to the dark-tile monument at the entrance to the university. I was pacing myself in Marion, behind this pristine, leonine Landcruiser. Suddenly I saw high headlamps rise up behind me as an SUV appeared like a tidal wave from nowhere. It scrimmaged over the rocky, torn-away terra, past me, past the Toyota Landcruiser, narrowly avoided kissing a compact bank of red earth on the shoulder, hobbled through potholes, and was out of sight, all in a chauvinist trice. It was a Toyota Rav 4. I lol’ed, as, false to customary character, the Akan proverb leapt to mind: Ponko koraa huri ta, na wo ofui!